Santa, save me


Yes people, I reached 50,280 words and momentarily transformed into a pixilated viking to high-five my own awesomness. Granted, I achieved it on 30th November with 30 minutes until midnight but I got there in the end. The desperate late night typing reminded me of those university deadlines where I’d shiver my way through an all-nighter in the kitchen wearing two pairs of trousers, two pairs of socks, scarf and gloves. Apparently I’m one of those people who struggle to write anything without a terrifying and looming deadline. Or the heating on. Anyone else have the same problem?

Right now for instance, without Nano prodding me on, I’m having a breakfast of sausage rolls and mince pies I stole from work last night, and looking up pretty fluffy slippers online when there’s still half a novel to finish.


My double-socked toesies want.

Come back Nano!

The other reason for my slow progress, post-November, is the fact I don’t have a single day off until Christmas Eve thanks to the ‘charming’ pantomime season! I spend most of my days and evenings selling a horrific amount of popcorn, fizzy drinks and E-number awfulness to small children and watching them spin around like lunatics in our usually dignified theatre, churning the starchy mixture in their little stomachs until it all wants to come back up dramatically. I was shown how to use the vomit-scoop the other day.

Excited HP

Just. Like. This. But with more vomit.

Now for all my international readers, there are really no words to describe what a pantomime is. You just have to experience this British Christmas tradition with its break dancing cows, men dressed as women and rhyming couplets. So I will leave you with this gif of pantomime horses beating each other up.

This is an accurate summation of the inside of my brain this month.

This is an accurate summation of the inside of my brain this month.

With luck, I will come out of this pantomime hell unscathed and back with a pen in hand. How is everyone else doing without Nano prodding them along? Anyone have any pantomime hell stories of their own?


4 thoughts on “Santa, save me

  1. Haha I have NO idea what a pantomime is– and those horses look truly terrifying and dangerous. At the same time, the suits could be warmer than double trousers so perhaps you should steal something like that along with your mince pies šŸ˜‰

    • Now there’s an idea… I’d probably get fired for kidnapping daisy the breakdancing cow for my pajamas though. If you ever find yourself in England around December you should try and catch a pantomime for a cultural experience. And then go and watch Shakespeare for actual culture.

  2. Pingback: Group Therapy: December « HACKER. NINJA. HOOKER. SPY.

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